


Landlord

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Attempted PWP, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:08:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5102321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another mission, another apartment sold. They were used with MI6 presuming they were dead the instant their trackers went offline during a mission and by then, they really couldn't care less about whatever new apartment they got. But then they meet their new landlord and they start helping things in their apartment get broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Landlord

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry, I really tried. But I am horrible at those kind of scenes. 
> 
> Please forgive any and all mistakes and enjoy, if possible

They had stopped carrying about apartments a long time ago. Mostly because MI6 sold them the moment they disappeared during a mission even though both M and the Quartermaster knew that they weren’t really dead. In fact, Alec was sure that the instant their trackers stopped transmitting, the old major hit a button that instantly put their apartments on sale and James was inclined to believe him. And he had some pretty solid evidence to back that claim which was the fact that their latest apartment being sold after they had been offline for only fifteen minutes because they had entered a zone that blocked their trackers’ signals.

 

“And how is that fair, Quartermaster?” Alec demanded, punching the daylights out of an armed guard that had tried to hit him in the face with the butt of his gun after running out of bullets. “Are we really to blame that your equipment isn’t up to date?”

 

“ _I do not like that accusatory tone, young man. You have five men coming from your left; normal weapons._ ” He waited for the two to reach a safe spot before he continued. “ _I have already assigned your usual real-estate agent to find a new one, so you can calm down. Will you wish to see some of them or should she directly buy the first one she finds._ ”

 

“As long as it fits our requirements, we don’t care,” James said after he managed to wrestle out of a stranglehold, breaking the man’s ribs. He was dusting his suit off when he noticed that another man was coming at him and he threw his empty gun at him, watching with little interest as the small black object disappeared into the apparent bottomless pit along with the would-be attacker. “Quartermaster, I regret to inform you that I have just lost your weapon.”

 

The major sighed. “ _I wonder if you will ever grow up, 007.”_

 

“Will you ever stop selling our bloody apartments?” Alec asked in an equally irritated voice tone. “I am getting really fed up with trying to remember new addresses every other month.”

 

This was the usual exchange between the three of them, M rolling her eyes in the background and pinching the bridge of her nose, asking all herself what she had done so wrong in her past life that she was forced to put up with everything. Maybe she should start going regularly to church, not just when friends or employees died and her karma might get better. Or just force the two double oh agents into retirement. Or maybe _she_ should go into retirement.

 

“Make sure their apartment is as far away from my house as possible,” M grumbled, pretending not to hear that her phone was ringing since she knew it was the Prime Minister who wanted to discuss the new damages her agents had caused. “And do take note that I’d prefer it to also be in another country, on another continent.”

 

“ _M, you wound us with your words, really. After all the care we take to ensure that no one notices us_.” Something exploded as soon as James was done talking and her phone started ringing again.

 

Bottom line, since this was their fifth new apartment in less than a year, the agents didn’t care all that much about how it looked or where it was. They were surprised when they were called by their real estate agent on their way back to the London and informed that their new landlord wished to personally present the apartment to them and explain how things worked. Surprised, but not interested. An apartment was nothing more than four walls with rules.

 

“Tell him to leave us a guidebook if he doesn’t think that James and I can’t operate a bloody phone to call him whenever something gets fucked up.” Alec threw the phone over his shoulder and returned to covering James’ necks in his bite marks. “That blasted woman had some guts to leave her supposed love marks on your skin, tigr.”

 

The new neighbourhood was nice, if a bit too far away from the nearest sleazy bar. It was that kind where old, rich people spent out the rest of their lives if they were too snobbish for the countryside and where they would have to be careful with what they did because they stood out like sore thumbs.

 

Their building looked extremely new and when they entered their apartment, they noticed that it was full of technology. So, if they went by the assumption that the quiet neighbourhood was M’s punishment, then the high tech apartment was their Quartermaster’s revenge. And they were the ones who were supposed to grow up; how amusing.

 

There was a thick book on the coffee table, a little note written in neat handwriting letting them know that since they refused to meet with him and personally see how things worked and what the rules were, they had to read that.

 

Alec flipped through a few pages, pulling a face when he read a couple of lines before tossing the thing under the table. “I wonder if our new landlord is as ancient as Major Boothroyd.”

 

James chuckled, opening a bottle of vodka. “I don’t plan on finding that out, Alec. Now, let’s drink for whatever reason and test to see if the furniture is as sturdy as it looks.”

 

But James’ plans never worked out and not two weeks later, they found themselves in the awkward situation of having to call the man over to their apartment because their oven wasn’t turning on. There was a red button lit on it and they had the courtesy to look through the instruction manual first to see what it meant, but they couldn’t find anything.

 

“The ancient thing probably forgot to print that page,” Alec grumbled, kicking the oven a few times in hopes of fixing it.

 

They heard a soft knock on the door and James expected to come face to face with an old man with horrible clothing, leaning on a walking cane and smelling like mothballs. Who was actually behind the door had his mouth fall open and he silently stepped aside to let him in.

 

“Please tell me that the knocking I keep hearing is not hour housemate kicking the living daylights out of my oven,” the young man with green eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses and wild, brown hair that looked like it would be perfect do dig your hands in as you pounded into him, asked in a posh accent.

 

He was dressed in what James instantly considered to be an affront to fashion everywhere, a cardigan in three colours, a little red bowtie whose colour didn’t match anything he had on, the whole kitschy ensemble being brought together by the pair of checkered pants that looked like they belonged to an old, colour blind duke that had gotten lost on the gold field.

 

“We called for the landlord, not for his nephew,” James blurted out. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school or something? Does your grandfather know you raided his closet?” Oh, he even scoffed like an old man, the way the corner of his plump red lips went doing while his nose scrunched up when he frowned being eerily identical to Major Boothroyd.

 

“If you want to wait for my grandfather to come fix your stove, then I am afraid that you will be stuck eating take out for the rest of your lives.” A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips as he took a step back, hands stuffed in his pockets. “Or, if you really want my grandfather’s help, I would be more than happy to Google the phone number of a medium or something.”

 

Oh, a challenge with a sharp tongue to go along the pretty looks; just their preferred type. “No, no. If you can guarantee that the cops will not arrest us for supporting child labour, than by all means. Fix our oven, _please_.” James bowed a little and motioned towards the broken appliance.

 

The man looked at the display for a second, pulled his sleeves up and opened the oven’s door, upper half disappearing inside. His position was a very interesting one, as it showed just how tight the man’s pants were and making the two of them suddenly appreciate the flashy insults to their eyes.

 

Alec leaned down a bit, James’ glare being the only thing that kept him from actually rubbing his ass. “We’ve been trying to get it to work all morning,” he said softly. “And we even checked that brick you left with us to see what the light meant, but we found nothing.”

 

The man was out of the oven as soon as Alec was done talking, holding to their eye level the silk tie that James had been wearing the prior day. They had wondered where Alec had managed to throw it, in the end assuming that it flew through the open window and some poor, homeless person was now wearing a three hundred quid tie.

 

“The red right light,” the man started to say in the most lifeless voice possible, “means that there is something blocking the venting system.” He wrapped the tie around Alec’s neck, taking the book from the kitchen table. “As it is clearly stated at page 394 and shown in the coloured image on the following one.” He held the book to Alec’s face, tapping the place where the information was.

 

James touched his shoulder to get his attention, holding his hand out. “You saved us from dying of hunger and we do not even know your name. I am Bond, James Bond. And you are?”

 

“I assume you both have cell phones and the landline is working because you called me on it.” He looked hesitant to take James’ hand and very carefully wrapped his fingers around it, giving him a very loose handshake. “My tenants refer to me as Q, Mister Bond. Now, if you’d both excuse me.”

 

James held on to Q’s hand, tugging him back. “Let us offer you something to drink as an apology for delaying our meeting then, Mister Q.”

 

Q flinched when a glass of vodka appeared right next to his face, almost bumping into Alec as James finally released his hand. “I abhor strong alcohol, gentlemen. So again, thank you for the offer, but I really must go.”

 

He proved to be quite fast, as the front door was closing behind them in the blink of an eye, the two men left staring in wonder. They exchanged a single glance just to be sure that they were both on the same page after which they sat down at the kitchen table to decide how to go about it.

 

Firstly, they needed to find out what the man’s sexual orientation was. Secondly, if they got lucky and he was at least curious about the male body, they needed to show off theirs and get him to crave their touch. Thirdly and lastly, right before they pounced on him, he had to understand that they were in a relationship, but that they didn’t mind sharing their nights and bodies.

 

They were going to use the fact that he was their landlord to do all of that, both of them instantly grabbing the makeshift instruction manual to see how they could go about temporarily break things around their apartment that required his touch to work again – they were in the usual, mandatory vacation and they had nothing better to do other than drink and fuck. Why not add a third person and make everything more pleasant?

 

“We’ll start off with the bathroom,” James decided three days later, already unscrewing the showerhead. “He’ll know we’re in a relationship and if it turns out that he’s one of the narrow minded people, we’ll get to claim that the only reason we greeted him in nothing but towels was because we were taking a shower when it broke.”

 

Alec grinned, discarding his clothes instantly and then focusing on James’. “Oh, I highly doubt that’s the case, tigr. His eyes looked too intelligent for that to be real.” He licked up James’ stomach, biting down hard on his neck. “Just to be sure there is no way he can misinterpret what we actually do in here besides washing.”

 

Thirty minutes later, Alec was grinning down at a Q who was doing his best not to stare at his naked chest. “Your roommate said something about shower problems, Mister Trevelyan?” His voice shook a bit and it took him a second to register that Alec was talking to him. “I do apologize; I had a long night. Would you terribly mind repeating what you just said?”

 

Placing his hand on Q’s back, Alec carefully pushed him inside the apartment, grabbing the heavy-looking toolkit from his hands which offered him a perfect opportunity to flex his muscles. “I was simply asking if I could carry this for you. I don’t want your girlfriend to sue us for breaking your arms.”

 

Q snorted – which reminded Alec of a small cat sneezing. “I do not have a girlfriend as my tastes _differ_.” He sounded uncomfortable saying that and even edged away from Alec as if he was expecting the man to suddenly hit him in the head with his own toolkit.

 

“Oh, then we do not want your boyfriend to come after us,” Alec said easily, not even bothering to hide his wolfish grin. “James, Q is here. You can stop making the problem worse” He turned to Q as he pushed the bathroom door opened with his back, winking at him. “He’s great in bed and all of our occasional partners will attest to that, but horrible when it comes to plumbing.”

 

James glared at Alec since this wasn’t the subtle path they had agreed to follow, but Q had yet to run out of the apartment screaming, so he really couldn’t be all that upset on him. “Sorry to bother you so soon, Q. But as you can see…” He trailed off and nodded towards the river of water that was pouring on him, making the towel he had around his hips hide about as much as the cloths carved around Greek statues.

 

Q nodded his head, clearing his throat as he finally looked away from the man, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “I’ll shut off the water to your apartment and see what I can do. I thought my designs for the pipes made it practically impossible for this to break.”

 

The two were surprised to hear that and, after Q had rolled his sleeves up and started struggling to get the thin hose out of the drain, James and Alec started bombarding him with all sort of questions.

 

It turned out Q was smarter than they had assumed, loving to create all sort of things which, strangely enough, also included plumbing. Actually, in this case, he just drew up the plans which he then presented to an army of plumbers that decided it was indeed feasible.

 

“But I never imagined that this hose would clog up and cause all of this,” he grumbled, glaring hard at the little thing that the agents fixed to cause so much trouble. “I’ll have to check all of them and make sure this doesn’t happen again.” He hummed, completely missing that James had started to dry his arms off with a fluffy towel that was bigger than what they had around their hips while Alec was doing his best to switch the hose with a cup of hot coffee.

 

They froze when their brains processed what Q had said, instantly realizing that they had gone a tad too far. They didn’t mean to give him a lot of extra work for no good reason – and it was creepy how both of them had the voice of Major Boothroyd in their heads, chastising them for always ending up doing that just because they were unable to act their own age.

 

When Q lifted his toolkit, James threw the towel behind him and moved to take it out of his hands. “I am sure this is just an isolated and freak incident, Q.” He had a strong grip for someone who looked like a strong wind could blow him away.

 

“But I have to be sure of that.” He sighed as he suddenly let go of the toolkit, James narrowly avoiding hitting Alec in the face. “You two were very nice about the whole thing and for that I thank you. But the other tenants might—”

 

“ _If_ that happens, we promise to get our agency’s lawyer to help you,” James interrupted, dropping the toolkit so he could wrap his arm around Q’s shoulders.

 

Alec walked on Q’s other side, effectively trapping the man between them. “And trust us when we tell you that he’s the best. Now, want some coffee?”

 

Q glanced at the mug that had been pushed right under his nose and started to laugh. “I think I need to leave so Mister Bond can help wash the liquid off of you.” He crouched down and backed away from their hold, picking his kit again. “And I hate coffee, but thank you for the offer. Have a pleasant day.”

 

The front door closed with a click and Alec dropped the mug, resting his hands on his hips. “Q is turning out to be quite a beautiful mystery, isn’t he?”

 

James hummed and pulled their towels off, pushing Alec into their bedroom. The combination of Q’s intellect and his grunts had really done a number on them.

 

They still continued to sabotage their apartment after that, taking care not to creature problems that might seem like there had been a flaw in the design or execution. And Q just continued to show up, looking slightly irritated every time he did but leaving in better spirits, showing off the many horrible clothes he seemed to own.

 

He fixed their TV and they found out that he liked Sci-Fi – not that much of a surprise, seeing that he liked to build things. By some miracle, there was a Doctor Who marathon playing on BBC and Alec asked if he’d like to watch it with them.

 

But Q let out a long yawn and pushed his glasses on top of his head so he could rub his eyes. “Thank you, but I will have to turn you down again. I worked until 3 AM on a firewall last night and then had to participate at the live testing of it at 8 AM.”

 

Q managed to make them feel bad again and after he left – assuring them that he wasn’t so tired as to not find his own apartment so there really was no need for them to personally take him there – they agreed to discover faulty things in the house before 10 PM.

 

The next item that magically broke with their help was their phone which forced them to knock on Q’s door. The man opened the door without even looking through his visor which irked the two on some level just because their spy training had them check and double check before letting anyone into their house. But that was quickly forgotten because Q was the one in nothing but a towel this time, although it was extra-large and all they could see was his head and his legs.

 

“What is this time?” He sounded exasperated and again, the two were feeling kind of bad.

 

“Our phone.” Alec said in a meek voice, offering him an apologetic smile.

 

Q sighed and motioned them in, saying that he needed to rinse off before he could help them. He didn’t stay longer than five minutes in the bathroom, but that was more than enough for the two double ohs to have a decent look around.

 

Q had a lot of books, from advanced coding to the hidden romance novel stuffed under his sofa as well as a lot of computers. Or maybe it was a single one whose memory and computing capacity was split into more bodies – one of the major’s younger minions would be able to tell them that after a single glance, but there was no reason to involve MI6 in this.

 

He also had a gaming console, but it was covered in dust. Alec started going through Q’s game collection when the man stepped out of his bathroom, hair still wet. “I would let you borrow one of my games, but I am afraid that you’d suddenly discover that it has a scratch or glitch.” Okay, so he had been reality irritated that time and they decided that they needed to check first to see if he was enjoying a shower before bothering him.

 

The only good thing that came out from that was that Q allowed James to towel dry his hair after the phone was fixed – “Really? Neither of you bothered to see if it was _plugged_?” –Alec even managing to get him to see the first ten minutes of Star-something with him. But just as James sat down and both of them moved to throw their hands around his shoulders in the most cliché move possible, Q’s phone rang.

 

The broken heater offered them a chance to greet Q in nothing but their underwear and the man quickly forgot his annoyance due to their state of undress. They had really done a number on it, so by the time Q was done with it, he had discarded his own shirt, offering the two a glimpse of his hidden muscles.

 

He also quite loved the ice tea they offered him and that made them happy, especially since they had made the bloody drink ten times before it was actually drinkable.

 

It was a fun dance between the three of them, one the two agents strangely loved. It kept them busy, kept their mind out of that dark place they sometimes wandered and they weren’t bothered by how much effort and time they were dedicating to this single man.

 

In fact, their need for a simple night with the young man between their sheets had been replaced with a different one. Still their little vacation – that turned out to be a lot more pleasant that they would have thought possible – was coming to an end and they didn’t have time to sit and think too much about it.

 

They decided that the last thing they had to ruin before inevitably being called on a mission was their own fridge. They even left their apartment for a few good hours just to be sure that all their food was properly ruined so they’d have an excuse to ask Q to stay and eat Chinese with them.

 

Were they surprised that their plan backfired so bad that Q was actually apologizing to them, his refusal to look them in the eyes as he did so practically killing them? No, not really, but they had hoped at least this plan would work the way it was supposed to. But no, Q had to be that kind of landlord who took everything upon himself and now he was begging them to let him pay for the ruined food and accept to be moved to one of the penthouses that had just become available.

 

“It is simply unacceptable that in the one month you’ve been here, so many items in your home have malfunctioned,” Q was saying. “I deeply apologize and I guarantee you that I will not accept you pay anything extra for the penthouse.”

 

What was worse was that Q was slowly edging towards the door, away from the decently set table - Alec had even managed to find a tablecloth that wasn’t stained or ripped and James had bought actual plates. But just before he bolted out of their apartment, James grabbed him and pulled him to his chest, wrapping his arms around him.

 

“We’re extremely unlucky so I am sure that things will continue to break around us even no matter where you move us.” He started to draw little circles at the base of Q’s neck, slowly guiding him into their living room.

 

He sat Q down and Alec wrapped a napkin around Q’s neck, rubbing his shoulders. “I think I ordered a bit too much Chinese, so please help us finish all of this.” Of course, but ordering too much, Alec meant that he had no actual idea what Q liked and ordered every item on the menu he swiped from Q’s apartment the last time they went there.

 

Q hummed, leaning over to smell a plate. “Well, I was planning on cooking something when you guys called me.” Cue them feeling horrible yet again. “So, I think I will. Just tell me how much I have to pay.”

 

“Nonsense!” James interjected, pushing Q on the chair while Alec pulled the table closer to him. “You’ve been fixing our apartment practically constantly without asking for anything. At least let us feed our favourite landlord.”

 

As the night progressed, they started touching his hands, rubbing his back and arms and Q did not shy away from them. He smiled, elbowed either Alec or James, depending who was the one who made the really horrible joke that almost made him choke on his food.

 

Alec even managed to convince Q to accept a glass of wine, the man’s green eyes widening when he tasted it. “It’s so sweet that it feels like I’m not drinking alcohol at all. Thank you very much.” He squeezed Alec’s free hand and James had to tip the bottle backwards just to be sure that the man wouldn’t end up pouring the rest of the wine on the table.

 

Q actually ended up eating more than they thought possible, especially since he looked skinny. “I have a really fast metabolism,” he chuckled. “Are you sure now that you don’t want me to pay for my part of the meal?”

 

It looked like he was reaching for his wallet so James took his hand and pushed it against his chest, their noses almost touching. “We’re very sure about that, Q. How–”

 

He was cut off by Q’s lips against his, their teeth bumping against each other. It took a second for his brain to process what was happening and he brought his hand up against the back of Q’s neck just as the man was starting to move away, pulling him in his lap.

 

Q started to grind against him, Alec sneaking his hands up the younger man’s back, forcing him to break away from James when he pulled the shirt off of him. He stopped Q before he could move to resume his kiss with James, giving him an upside down kiss that had him giggle as he struggled to brush Alec’s tongue with his and not the roof of his mouth.

 

James, not liking to be ignored for too long, started to lazily Q’s nipple, making him gasp and break away from Alec. He looked up at Q and grinned as he moved his teeth against the pink nip, Alec starting to pinch and twist the other.

 

That had Q roll his head back and moan, so bothered by how tight his pants had become that he started to struggle to unzip them. They became tighter still when James, finally moving from his red nipple, licked down Q’s chest as he gently dragged his nails over his stomach. Alec had taken to teasing Q’s other nipple, his back flush against Q’s, nibbling his neck.

 

When James pushed his hips up, Q was sure he’d end up embarrassing himself. “Please, I can’t take it anymore. Take me or let me go to the bathroom,” he breathed out, easily wrapping his legs around James’ hips when the man abruptly sat up, hands clasped together under Q’s ass.

 

“Oh, we’d go in there with you and offer you tips,” Alec whispered, biting Q’s earlobe. “Guide you as you slowly unzipped your pants,” he sneaked a hand between him and James, opening Q’s pant, “and lick our lips as your slender fingers wrapped around your hard member.”

 

“Alec, _please_ ,” Q whimpered, trying to somehow rub against them. But Alec, the tease, moved his hand away and James pinched his legs in such a way that made him lose control over his own muscles and pushed him away.

 

James chuckled when he saw the hard glare Q was giving him, pulling him back to kiss him deeply, knowing that the young man would instantly forgive them for their teasing. “We’re almost in the bedroom and there we’ll show you real pleasure,” he promised against his lips, distracting him until Alec sneaked his arms around Q’s middle and pulled him out of his arms.

 

Q’s feet dangled above the ground, but he didn’t even notice, too distracted by Alec’s lips on his neck to care about anything else. He didn’t even feel when James pulled down his pants and to remind him that Alec wasn’t the only one who was paying attention to his body, so he brought his hand over Q’s buldge and applied a bit of pressure, moving painfully slow upwards, Q breaking the kiss with Alec so he could glare.

 

But James only looked more devious, moving to kiss the bridge of his nose. “You’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning, Q.”

 

“I’m getting blue balls from all your teasing and you two are still overdressed,” Q growled, grabbing James’ shirt and ripped it open. “Send me the bill for it.” He sneaked his hand down Alec’s chest and in his pants, squeezing his hard member, rubbing his thumb over the tip.

 

Alec moaned and his legs buckled, almost dropping Q on the ground as he leaned with his head on his back. Q used his opportunity to latch his mouth against James’ Adam’s apple, licking it and sucking it lightly before biting down on it.

 

James moaned, his eyes rolling in the back of his head. “You’re playing dirty, but we like that,” he breathed out, wrapping his arms around Q and started to fall on his back, Q letting out a short terrified yelp and Alec falling on top of them because Q’s hand was still down his pants.

 

“James, I like my dick where it is so tell him when the bed is right under us,” Alec growled, rubbing his knee against James’ and Q’s balls.

 

“Making a note of it for next time, Alec.” He tangled his fingers in Q’s soft hair and tugged him up, giving him a deep kiss to distract him while Alec quickly stripped and dug in the drawer next to their bed for lube and condoms.

 

James started to rub and pinch Q’s backside, easily slipping his briefs off, the man gasping and turning red when Alec bit his left butt cheek. He tried to turn away from James and focus on Alec, but the man tugged on his hair a bit harder and kissed him again.

 

“You’re very needy, James,” Q muttered against his lips, grinding against him. “And I think I need to show you just how needy I am right now, so you’ll stop teasing and do me already.” He unzipped James’ pants and pulled them down, licking his lips when he saw that the man preferred to go commando.

 

He wrapped his fingers around James’ member and ran his thumb over the tip, grinning when the man shivered under him. He squeezed his member as he moved his hands up, leaning over to nibble on James’ neck, moaning against it as Alec was already rubbing small circles against Q’s hole.

 

It went unsaid that James was supposed to distract Q while Alec slowly started to stretch him, but Q still got startled and clenched when the man inserted one of his fingers. “Shh, relax, Q.” Alec muttered, kissing his lower back. “If it hurts, I’ll stop. Does it hurt?” Q shook his head, making all sorts of little noises when Alec pulled his finger back a bit. “Do you want me to stop?”

 

Q slowly drew his tongue up James’ member, eyes narrowed. “If he stops, I stop.” He grabbed James; hands and pushed them down on the mattress, shifting his weight on them. “So tell me,” he swirled his tongue on the tip before moving his head down, teeth slightly grazing James’ member before pulling away, “do you want me to stop?”

 

It was really easy for James to overpower Q, the young man not looking surprised in the least when he was grabbed and dragged over James, their members rubbing against each other. He did gaps when Alec’s finger completely slipped out of him, but James swallowed that gasp, giving him a bruising kiss.

 

“Only if you want to stop, love,” James muttered against Q’s lips. “But if he continues to tease you, I’ll help you tie him down and then I’ll turn you into a shivering mess of pleasure.”

 

Q grinned and licked James’ lips, dragging his hands down his chest as he slid back down. “We will use that tie that was stuck in the oven to do that.” He glanced at Alec before pushing James’ warm member in his mouth, wiggling his ass a bit as an invitation.

 

This time, the first finger went in easy and he hummed in pleasure, James entangling his fingers in Q’s hair as he pushed his head down on his throbbing member. The second one made him gasp which made James growl and almost cum when the back of Q’s throat vibrated on his cock and the third one had him sweat.

 

Alec pulled his fingers out and Q whimpered, James pushing himself deeper in his mouth. “I’ll go slow,” Alec promised, sliding his member over Q’s ass slowly a few times. “And then I’ll make you forget who you are.”

 

Q unconsciously gripped the sheets and his heart started to beat faster when he felt Alec’s tip against his entrance. He let James’ dripping member slip out of his mouth, shutting his eyes tightly as he kissed the tip, surprised when James’ hands moved from his hair to his chin.

 

“Relax, love,” he breathed out, caressing his face. “You’ll feel only pleasure, I promise.” He took one of Q’s hands in his and used his feet to start rubbing Q’s hard member. “Just relax and enjoy.”

 

Q nodded and moaned, brushing his face James’ member. Alec started to gently rub circles on Q’s back, panting heavily as he tried not to give in to his animalistic urges and just fully enter the quivering man under him. And it was a hard thing to do, to slide in carefully while Q mewled and shivered, shaking his ass to ease the throbbing member in.

 

A final push and Alec was flush against Q, resting his face against his back, arms wrapped around him. “You’re insanely warm.” He placed a kiss against Q’s back and pulled out a little at the same time James pushed his hips up, pushing himself deeper in his mouth.

 

The three quickly synched and Alec picked up the pace, squeezing Q’s ass with one had as he moved faster and faster. He slapped James’s feet away and grabbed Q’s member and started to rub it, the room filling with low grunts and the sound of skin hitting skin.

 

James was the first to come, filling Q’s mouth with his seed and he quickly pushed the man up, Alec reading his lovers moves without needing to open his eyes, so that he sat on his back, hands under Q’s legs to continue moving him up and down.

 

“You’re perfect, you’re perfect,” he whispered in Q’s ear as James kissed him and then focused on his mouth, hungrily licking the man’s taste off of his lips. “So perfect,” he growled this time, James turning Q’s head and pushing it against Alec’s face.

 

Lost in pleasure and warmth, Q couldn’t hear anything but murmurs and then a bright light exploded behind his closed eyelids, screaming in pleasure. He slumped against James’ chest and weakly held on to him as Alec kept going, parting his lips and lapping at the fingers that were brushing against them.

 

Alec was a little brutal in his release, his fingers digging almost painfully in Q’s calves, leaving behind a very visible bite mark on his shoulder. His member throbbed and pulsated, his pleasure filling the condom and he remained in Q for a few minutes until the world around him came back into focus.

 

Q was rubbing his head against James’ chest, a little smile on his face as he purred and Alec grinned, kissing the back of his neck before rolling off of him. James fell on his back, Q laughing as he followed suit.

 

They sat like that for a few moments, James playing with Q’s hair while Alec gently traced the signs of their loving on the young man, making him shiver. The sweat glimmered on Q, the redness on his skin slowly fading away.

 

“You do the cleaning, Alec,” James uttered. “I have an armful of pleased kitten and I am not about to move away.” He nuzzled Q’s ear and the man turned to look at Alec with half lidded eyes and a little smile on his lips.

 

Alec huffed, stole a little kiss from Q, pinched James’ backside and went to the bathroom to wet some towels. He felt the urge to skin and hum, but forced himself to not do that. He wasn’t a teenager anymore; just a mature man who took a sip of a possible fountain of youth.

 

Q stretched and rolled as he brushed the towel over him, wrapping his arms around Alec. “I liked this dinner.” He rubbed their noses, Alec throwing the other damp towels at James so he could jump in the bed and wrap himself around Q.

 

“He’s cold, James. I have to warm him up,” Alec defended himself when James gave him a mock glare. “You don’t want our landlord to get a cold, do you?”

 

Q put his hand over Alec’s mouth, chuckling when he felt the man start to lick his palm. “I think we’re way past me getting grossed by your tongue against any part of me, Alec.”

 

James moved closer to Q and gave him the towels, Alec resting his head against Q’s back as if he was a giant pillow, drawing little circles on his lower backside. The care Q used to wipe him clean had James close his eyes and start playing with the man’s hair, fully relaxed. It was rare for him or Alec to be this peaceful with a third person in bed with them.

 

On missions, a gun or a knife quickly followed the sex and in their downtime, the extra partner was quick to vacate the room. This was strange, but a pleasant kind of strange. He felt Q place a kiss on his forehead and he sighed in content, grabbing the covers from the floor and throwing them over them.

 

“We’ll rest for a bit and then take an actual shower,” James grumbled, moving closer to Q and Alec.

 

He must have dozed without realizing because when he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of Q and Alec kissing, the young man trapped under the larger man, his eyes closed, arms tightly wrapped around the other man’s neck.

 

Alec moved back, intending to pull Q in an upright positing, when the young man broke the kiss with a flinch that had instantly had them fully awake and reaching out for him.

 

“I’m alright, I’m alright,” Q croaked, Alec helping him to lie back down gently. “I am just slightly sore and my back seems to be completely against sudden movements.”

 

Alec grinned, cracking his fingers. “You need a massage and I am the best at it.” Q was flipped on his stomach in an instant, his brain needing a second to process what had happened. “I had this partner once who was extremely good at it and shared her knowledge with me.”

 

James grimaced, remembering who Alec was talking about. The woman had been drop dead gorgeous, good with her hands, a set a tights that could literally kill a man – and which she had done three times while being partnered up with Alec – and was also batshit insane.

 

He shuddered at the thought of how close both of them had been to death, a warm hand placed gently against the side of his face acting as an anchor to reality. “James, are you okay?” Q muttered gently, Alec placing his much larger hand over his, gently massaging James’ temples.

 

“Hm, yes. My mind just wandered somewhere it shouldn’t have had. Don’t worry about it, love.”

 

James pushed the hair away from Q’s forehead, leaning over to kiss it softly as Alec focused back on gently rubbing their young lover’s back. It was safe to say that never in their life had they felt this calm and relaxed with someone else in bed. Neither of them felt the urge to reach for their guns and they didn’t have those warning bells going off in their heads if they thought about turning their back to Q.

 

Stranger still, they could easily picture themselves doing this – dine with Q and then go to bed with him – over and over again. There was no need to find ways to hint strongly that they wished him gone from their side because, truth be told, they didn’t want that to happen.

 

Q smiled and rubbed his head against Alec’s when the man kissed his cheek, sighing in pure content. “We would have done this sooner if –” Whatever he had wanted to say was cut off by both of their work phones going off and the two men groaned, rolling away from Q’s warm body to search for their phones.

 

They noticed that Q had suck out of the bed only when they leaned slightly back to start running their hands through his hair and down the side of his face to reassure him that everything was okay. Alec was somehow tangled up in the bed sheets, but James managed to quickly jump out of the bed and walk outside their bedroom just in time to see the front door closing.

 

“ _Did you hear that I said, 007, or am I talking to two hormonal teenagers like always_?” M’s sharp voice cut through James’ jumbled thoughts. “ _You and that cussing man-child on the other line are going to get dressed in less than five minutes and get in the bloody car that’s waiting for you downstairs and be in my office in less than an hour_.”

 

He locked eyes with Q just as the elevator doors were closing and he was so tempted to follow him, but he didn’t. Q’d still be here when they returned and now they had a really good reason to make sure they do not fuck up their mission.

 

“ _007, do you read me? Don’t make me send the driver in there to drag you both away from whatever tart you’re entertaining_.”

 

“He’s not a tart. Not in the British sense at least,” James heard Alec say as he entered their bedroom, hopeful green eyes turning to him.

 

James shook his head and dodged the pillow thrown at him. Really, everything was M’s fault and whoever had decided that they needed to do act against England. “We heard you loud and clear, M. We won’t be late.”

 

Or merciful towards the bastard – or bastards – that drove Q out of their bed and embrace.

 

***

 

One month. Four _bloody_ weeks. That was how long their supposedly quick mission had ended up lasting. And they were tired and angry and wanted nothing more than to take a quick shower and collapse in their bed with Q between them and just _forget_. All the sweets, cologne and fancy watch they bought for him from the Duty Free could wait until the morning.

 

They had, once again, waltzed with Death. It was by some miracle and the intervention of an apparently newly hired boffin that they managed to leave that desolate and horrid dance floor with their lives and everything about them intact.

 

“We’re going to check in tomorrow,” Alec grumbled and James nodded, turning their tired eyes to their driver who dared to take a sharp breath as if he wanted to correct them.

 

“We’re going to check in tomorrow afternoon and MI6 will bloody well like it, got it?” James repeated in a commanding voice, squeezing the driver’s shoulder until the poor man let out a whine and started to nod furiously.

 

The driver had been smart enough to understand that with them in the backseat and with their rather sour moods, the traffic laws were not to be respected. He looked positively elated as he drove away from their apartment building, probably planning to stop at the first store and buy a new pair of pants.

 

They took a quick shower, changed in their best ‘not trying hard at all’ clothes and glided down the flight of stairs to Q’s apartment. It seemed like an eternity passed between when they knocked and when they heard the lock being turned and the second the door opened, James leaned on it to keep it alike that and Alec stepped inside the apartment.

 

“I beg your pardon, sirs!” A voice that most definitely didn’t belong to Q bellowed, an old man dressed in stripped pyjamas and leaning on a cane glaring at them with dark eyes. “Who are you and what do you want at this ungodly hour?”

 

It was only ten PM, but seeing that the men looked like he was a breath away from death’s door, it was understandable why he’d think the hour ungodly. He couldn’t be Q’s grandfather because the young man had said that he was dead, nor related to him because nothing about him reminded them of Q. And they really hoped that Q’s tastes in older men didn’t reach the ones that were over thirty years his senior.

 

“Where’s Q?” Alec asked, already noting that the little he could see of the apartment bore absolutely no resemblance to what they had seen the last time they’ve been there.

 

“Q? Q…” The man trailed off, rubbing his chin before his eyes widened so much that James was afraid they’d pop out. “The former landlord, yes.” He pulled a disgusted face, moving his hand in front of his nose as if he was trying to rid the air of some horrible smell. “What person introduces himself to his tenants as Q? Bah, silly boy. Do you know this apartment building had no official plumber or electrician?”

 

James felt like his head was about to explode, Alec looked like he was about to explode and the old man seemed like he wasn’t planning on stopping from complaining about Q any time soon. And that made James want to stuff something in his mouth, tie him to a chair and explain in detail why Q was the best landlord and a wonderful person.

 

“Listen, you ancient being,” Alec interrupted the nerve-racking rant, flexing his fingers by his side. “Do you know where _our_ Q is?”

 

The man seemed shocked and in his head, James imagined that if he’d had a monocle, it would have long popped into a teacup. “I don’t think you could be ruder if you tried, young man. And I will not stand for that.” He wobbled around and pulled a notebook from somewhere, licking the tip of his pencil. “What were your names again? And what apartment?”

 

Was this man’s eyesight so bad that he couldn’t tell when he was staring danger in the eyes? Or was he suicidal? Because he had reached the point where James himself wanted to throttle him and Alec was probably already deciding which torture method would best suit this type of victim.

 

“Bond and Trevelyan. Now, where is Q?” James insisted between gritted teeth.

 

“Is that last name with a ‘y’ or an ‘i’?” This was not actually happening. They were in a coma somewhere and their minds had been thrown in purgatory because there was no way that they got to keep the apartment, but managed to lose Q who was the only reason why they suddenly cared where they lived.

 

Alec reached for the man and for a second, James was sure that he’d break his neck. But, thankfully, he simply grabbed the notebook and write down his name as well as their apartment number, floor and precise indications as to how to find it before tossing them somewhere in the apartment. “There, done. Now, Q. Where is he now?”

 

“Well, I don’t know,” the old man said simply. “He didn’t leave any forwarding address or his real name, for that matter.”

 

They closed the door when the man started ranting again, both of them feeling empty. They had been really excited about coming home to Q, which had been a new and very welcomed feeling. But now… Now what? They hadn’t bothered to learn their real-estate agent’s name and they doubted that Eve would agree to disclose it after finding what they needed it for. Hell, if she got involved, with how worried she was for their psyche, they’d end up in locked in a room full of psychiatrists.

 

“The boffins…” Alec muttered, grabbing James’ arm. “We’ll get whatever boffin that was supposed to check in our equipment help us with this.”

 

James grabbed Alec’s face and shoved him against a wall, giving him one of their usual bruising kisses. “I just so love some of your ideas, Alec.”

 

“Lies, tigr. You love _all_ of my ideas. But you’re too stubborn to show that to me.” He rubbed James’ groin, biting his neck before pushing him away. “Come on; we’re losing precious time here.”

 

They reached MI6 in record time, losing the lone police car that had given them chase just before pulling in the underground parking lot. Theirs was the only car there, but the security guard assured them that the building was still filled with boffins.

 

“You should check out the new bicycle rack M was forced to install because of them. It’s still half full even at this hour. Oh, and even Major Boothroyd abandoned his Type 1 Beetle in favour of one, but he went home after he was done with you,” the internal security guard that also worked as a sort of secretary for the night shift explained, slowly typing something. “You have to go to laboratory G-5.”

 

MI6 was a giant maze where logic had been abandoned a long time ago when it came to naming offices and laboratories. Even they had a bit of a problem finding G-5 despite the fact that they were good spies – but in their defence, there was usually a boffin, M, Eve or Major Boothroyd himself that walked them to where they had to go, so this was understandable.

 

But, fifteen minutes later, they were in the right laboratory, frozen in the doorway as they stared at that familiar ass sticking up from a box filled with wires and switches. It couldn’t be, could it? Sure, they themselves had thought about bringing him to MI6 and recommending him to the Major, but decided against that since…Well, the childish side of them didn’t want to share the man’s attention, intellect or anything else of his with anyone else.

 

“I know someone is in here, so if you’d be so kind as to drag me out, I would greatly appreciate it,” Q’s muffled voice came from inside the box, with just a tinge of desperation in it, spurring the two men into action.

 

They could have been a bit more cautious, but they wanted to see if the man really was Q or if the multiple hits to the head they had received during the mission had really affected them. And the instant they saw that unruly mop of brown hair, followed by familiar tired green eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses, they sandwiched him between them and proceeded to hug the daylights out of him.

 

It took Q a moment to realize what was happening and who exactly was hugging him so tightly, elbowing Alec in the stomach and hitting James in the chest with his fist a few times before he stilled.

 

“If you two are 007 and 006, I was expecting you back here two hours ago. Please be on time in the future so I can skip over the paperwork that explains why I wasn’t back in the MI6 issued apartment,” he grumbled, Alec’s kisses against the back of his neck combined with James’ rubbing of his backside making it really hard for him to be really upset.

 

The anger and hurt that they had felt mixed with the joy disappeared the instant Q asked that, happy that Q hadn’t kept anything from them. At first, they had thought he had been working for MI6 since before he knew them, but no person in this agency could ask with as much honesty in their voice as Q had who the famed 006 and 007 was.

 

“Why do you have a curfew? And are you the boffin that bailed Alec and I from certain death?” James asked, moving back a bit so he could cup Q’s chin.

 

A moan left Q’s mouth since Alec had moved to nibbling his ear, eyes fluttering shut. “I still need to prove that I am trustworthy and until I do, I am living in a sort of MI6 dorm. And they had me working on something that was completely wrong, so I fixed it. That’s when they said I could meet the people I helped.” He parted his lips when he felt James’ thumb on them, moving his head to take it in his mouth and start sucking on it lightly.

 

He seemingly forgot where they were, grinding against Alec’s front and holding on to James, moaning in the back of his throat. The two agents, however, didn’t and although they had absolutely no problem with taking Q right where he was, they weren’t too happy that everything would be in a server somewhere for everyone to see. And no one was allowed to see Q’s ecstatic face or hears his sinful moans and pleas but them.

 

“Sign our equipment in and show us where you live, LOVE, so we can show how we planned on spending the morning,” Alec whispered in Q’s ear, walking them over to the table where he had spotted a clipboard.

 

Q pushed James’ hand away and turned to look at Alec with half-lidded eyes. “Sign your– Oh!” It was amazing how fast the man could go from bedroom eyes to serious business cold stare. “I would love to do that, agent–”

 

“006,” Alec supplied for him, rearranging his glasses.

 

“006, thank you.” His cheeks changed colour, but not by much. “As I was saying, I would love to do that, but I do not see any equipment back to sign in.” He tapped his foot, pulling out a thick stack of papers, pulling a chair with his leg. “You two are simply horrendous, you know that?”

 

James slid closer to him and started to rub Q’s shoulders. “Love, what are you doing? Just thick the ‘nothing’ box and let’s go home. I promise M won’t interrupt us this time.”

 

Q swatted at him, pushing Alec’s face away from his neck. “It would have been faster if you had brought them back, 007. That is the only instance where I have to check a single box. 006, please zip my pants back and crawl out from under the table.”

 

Alec chuckled, drumming his fingers above Q’s waistline. “You just write there, Q and while I help you do it faster.”

 

Q relaxed, tangling his fingers in Alec’s hair. “Don’t interpret this as something that will happen every time you come back empty handed,” he breathed out, rolling his head to the side to give James access to his neck. “I shan’t forgive you for intentionally losing them, like I did with your appliances.”

 

“You knew?” James asked, biting down hard on Q’s earlobe, drawing a sharp gasp. “And I suppose you also made Alec and I feel extra bad?” He chuckled when Alec drew a whimper from Q by drawing his tongue above his stomach, circling around his belly button. “Shall I take that as a ‘yes’?” James insisted, tugging on Q’s hair to get his attention.

 

Q nodded weakly, parting his lips the instant he felt James’ over his, getting distracted from the kiss by Alec dragging his teeth over his stomach. “Of course I knew; no one is that unlucky and none of my ideas had so many glitches.”

 

James took his glasses away and placed them on the table, lifting him up a bit so Alec could pull down his pants. “Well, that was very sneaky of you and I think we need to award you for managing to pull one over on us.”

 

His hands were cold so when he touched Q’s hardened member, the young man shivered and grabbed the edge of the table. “Christ, remind me to give you some gloves, Alec.”

 

“Hmm, soft, fuzzy ones feel simply wonderful when one does this,” Alec whispered and slowly moved his hand up, grinning when Q closed his eyes. “But until then, I’ll just use my mouth.”

 

He engulfed Q almost entirely in his mouth, running his tongue on the side and tip, placing his hands on his legs as he started to move his head up and down. He would have wanted to take his time, tease him, have him beg and make those deliciously sinful noises that he and James had thought about while on the mission, but Q was already tired.

 

They’d properly take care of him and please him when morning came, Q along with it. He chuckled at the idea, making Q bite his lips to keep himself from making any loud noise when his throat vibrated over his throbbing member.

 

James moved to kiss Q, hand on his neck to keep him from trying to turn away, swallowing his moans and grunts, their teeth bumping against each other when something Alec did had Q jump.

 

Q slumped in the chair, looking just as sublime as he did the first time to the two men, scratching gently Alec’s scalp. He had a little smile on his face and Alec couldn’t help but grab his tie and pull him in a kiss, Q more than happy to comply. It was slow and lazy, Q’s cheeks managing to turn redder than they already were when he realized that it was for the first time in his life that he got a taste of himself.

 

“Now that’s not fair at all, Alec,” James grumbled as he fisted his hand in the man’s hair and pulled him away from Q. “He’s too spent and it’s too late to wait until he gets a bit of energy and I am not quite sure I remember his salty sweet taste properly.”

 

It should have been impossible for Q to feel the need so soon again, but watching the two share a hungry kiss that gave into James outright licking down’s Alec’s chin and his throat made him _want_. Those two would be the end of the end of him, but he wasn’t sure that he’d dislike this way of death.

 

The little private show was interrupted before it even started, James’ phone buzzing until the man glanced at it, a huge grin on his face. “Well, I think it’s time for us to leave.” He grabbed a few wet napkins off another table and made sure Alec was fully clean, Q hunching over the desk to deal with the paperwork.

 

He was really starting to hate that phone, he thought sullenly. Not that he thought anything was serious between them, especially now that he knew that one 006 and the other was 007, the two famed agents who weren’t attached to anyone but themselves. And even before acquiring that knowledge, he hadn’t hoped for more than a simple roll in their bed.

 

Q had noticed the many apartments the two had in the past and, upon inquiring as to why that was – claiming that he was worried the two might cause damage to his own building –the real-estate agent had admitted with half a mouth that the men tended to sleep around. She claimed that there were a lot of angry wives and husbands who wanted to skin them while others wanted them to wed their offspring, so it was understandable why the two moved around so much.

 

And when Q finally met the two, he understood how that could be. He even lingered in the oven to try and tempt the two and when his next intervention had them greet him in nothing but flimsy towels, he knew he had a chance. And what made him even happier was that the two seemed to want to play a game with him – one that he was more than happy to join, teasing the two as much as they teased him.

 

He didn’t regret that he was the one who jumped them instead of the other way around and, frankly, he had hoped to be the object of their interest for at least an entire night. But then their phones rang at the same time and Q realized that it would be for the best to leave – well, now that he knew they were spies who were partners more often than not, the simultaneous calls didn’t seem as something planned to get them out of an unwanted night together.

 

Something wet against his still bare tight startled him, Alec saving him from falling out of the chair. “I know I’m good with my mouth, Q, but never in my life had I made someone go deaf with it.” He placed the box of wet napkins on the desk and started to gently clean him, smiling at him.

 

“You made a lot of people wish they _were_ deaf, Alec,” James teased, easily dodging the napkin thrown at him. “I know how to get rid of the physical evidence, but we’re going to need you to delete the visual ones, Q.”

 

Ah, well that sort of explained why they were still there. “While normally that wouldn’t take me more than five clicks and three seconds, since I am not quite in the clear security wise, the Quartermaster himself will review the video to make sure I did everything by the book.” His face suddenly turned red and hit his head against the table.

 

His new boss was going to see him get a blowjob and because the man reminded him of his grandfather – kind, patient, talking about fishing trips and retiring on a boat while fiddling with a gadget – it made him pray for the ground to suddenly open up and swallow him.

 

“Good job, Alec. You didn’t get a single drop on his pants,” James congratulated his lover, pulling Q on his feet and zipping up his pants. “Still, find a lab coat or something. I don’t trust some of the lights I saw on our way here.”

 

Q watched with confusion as the men pushed him out of the office, ending up sandwiched between them. “I have to fill in the forms,” he said dejectedly as he glanced behind him at the door that he was moving further and further away. “The Major—“

 

“They’re really useless, love. And the Major knows this,” James tried to pacify him, using his body to hide him from the amused security guard. “Maybe he’ll finally give up on any paperwork after tonight.”

 

Alec opened the door and slithered in, pulling Q after him. He barely resisted sticking out his tongue at James, since the man was stuck with driving them back while he had Q all to himself in the back seat. “A hot shower and our soft bed will make you forget all your worries, Q.” He rubbed his back and eased him into leaning on him. “James, drive carefully back to our apartment just in case Q falls asleep.”

 

Those words acted as energy pills for Q, because the man suddenly jumped away from Alec, pushing his face really close to James. “No! No, no, you _have_ to take me to my temporary apartment. If I don’t sign in, I’ll be in more trouble than I already am for being so late and _not_ doing the paperwork that would have explained _why_ I didn’t meet my curfew.”

 

James drummed his fingers over the wheel, grinning. “Well, guide me and I’ll take us there.” He arranged his rear-view mirror while Q hoped out of the car to sit next to him in the front, catching the sulking Alec. “Not my fault you acted before thinking.” He snorted when Alec kicked his chair, strapping Q in who was already telling him what streets he should go on.

 

The building they pulled up to looked like a student housing facility, as long as you ignored the security cameras, motion detectors and guards that were all over the place. The imposing structure made the James want to turn the car around while Alec hid Q in his chest, but the young man had sprinted out of the car as soon as they had stopped.

 

“I never expected you to be late, Q,” the first security guard said in a berating voice as he pushed an electrical pad to the young man. “Major Boothroyd himself came over when we sent in the first reports and he saw that you are late.”

 

Q groaned. “Honestly, I tried to get here on time.” He glanced over his shoulder at the two silent agents, the security guard making a small ‘o’ as he nodded. “Well, I am here now and I will call the Major—“

 

“Oh, he’s still inside, waiting for you.” He chuckled when Q bolted from his side, throwing the pad at him before remembering the other two. “You two have to fill in the visitor forms and then wait for the person who you want to visit and their supervisor to approve them.”

 

Alec clicked his tongue, hands crossed over his chest. “What’s with MI6 and bureaucracy? You would think they’d be deadly afraid of paper trails considering we base a lot of our missions on following them,” he grumbled, outright hissing at the man who pushed a thick stack of documents against his chest.

 

By the time James glared at the second question, Q had bumped into Major Boothroyd, pulling the lab coat tighter around him as the man launched into a rant. “Those two are a handful, Q and I was just about to come get you.” He patted his shoulder, just then noticing that he had a laboratory coat on. “Is everything okay? You abhor wearing that thing.”

 

Q took a step back when Boothroyd tried to see if he had a fever. “I think I am coming down with a cold.” He turned his head to the side and tried to fake a cough, choking when he saw James and Alec looking miffed, Alec playing with a pen. “Oh sure, you fill in _his_ paperwork, but not mine.”

 

“To be fair, we only did half of it and then we locked him in his little house,” Alec offered, plastering himself against Q. “Now, who do we have to blow—“

 

“006, that is quite enough!” Boothroyd said in his best fatherly voice, looking like he was about to grab Alec’s ear and tug it off, frown deepening when James rubbed his thumb against Q’s forehead. “And how many times do I have to explain to you two what personal space is?”

 

Clearing his throat, Q shyly grabbed the edges of the two agent’s suit. “I used to be their landlord. Before coming to work for MI6. And we…” He trailed off and liked his lips, the major turning red for him.

 

“I see,” he said slowly. “Well then, as long as you are okay and nothing is bothering you, I shall take my leave.” He sent the two agents a glare. “I will make sure that you are not punished since it is obvious you are not fully to blame for missing the curfew.”

 

The trio was in the elevator even before he was done talking and he shook his head when he caught a glimpse of James leaning extremely close to Q’s face. He had no doubt in his mind that he had a certain security tape that he needed to erase in order to keep his protégé’s honour intact.

 

In the elevator, Q struggled to get a yawn out between giggles, the two agents either poking his sides, kissing his nose or blowing air on his neck after realizing that he was ticklish. “Don’t start anything in here, Alec,” he warned when he felt the man drag his hand down the front of his pants. “We’re on my floor anyway and I am too tired.”

 

The apartment was insultingly small and looked more like a hospital room than a place that someone was expected to call home. The walls were blindingly white and matched the austere looking furniture, the only speck of colour present in there being Q’s haphazardly thrown clothes and various books.

 

“Once I am in the green, they’ll find me a decent apartment and let me have everything I own back,” Q explained as he undressed. “I’ll take a quick shower,” he put his hands on their chest to keep them from coming closer to him, “ _alone_ and then you two do the same. You smell of explosive.”

 

“We took one when we got home!” Alec shouted through the closed door.

 

“Well, you didn’t do a very good job of it and no, I will not scrub you,” Q answered over the running water. “Just sit somewhere and don’t touch the silver boxes. Those hold my ‘homework’. I’ll be done in five minutes.”

 

True to his word, Q was sitting in the room, letting the two agents properly dry him and his hair five minutes later, given them kisses everything they asked for it. James tried to back him into the bed, Alec focusing a bit too much on his groin area with the towel, but Q found enough strength in him to resist and turn them away.

 

James moved away first, tugging Alec after him. “Got it, got it. Shower first.”

 

Q sat on his bed, naked, head rested in the palm of his hand. “Don’t take too long. I might get bored and start on my own.”

 

They didn’t even wait for the water to get properly warm, practically ripping their clothes off and throwing them all over the bathroom – Forget arranging them, James. Q’s waiting. Alec smelled every shower gel Q had until he found one that smelled just right and drenched himself in it, James being more mindful of how much he used.

 

However, no matter how fast they moved, they still walked out to a sleeping Q. Alec pouted but he wasn’t about to wake up an obviously tired man – because he cared for; he kicked awake countless people that he couldn’t care less before – and so he joined Q in bed, entangling their legs.

 

James got in on the other side of the bed, kissing the top of Q’s head as the man snuggled between them with a smile on his face. However, the bed was incredibly small and so James ended up accidentally pushing Alec out of it.

 

“Okay, we need to get the Major to move him out of this ant-sized place,” Alec grumbled, trying to find a way to get back next to Q without really disturbing him. “This is torture, really. Is this how we treat out allies? James, let’s kidnap him. He won’t get into any trouble of we do.”

 

James snorted, rolling his eyes and pulling Q on top of him to make room for Alec. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, Alec, when Q is awake.”

 

Alec looked like he wanted to say something more, but got distracted when Q rolled over him, nuzzling neck. “I get dibs on whatever shower gel I just used.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are love <3


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